One of the most important aspects of health in my opinion are emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before I get into health or talking about wealth there is one particular topic that in my opinion is more important than anything else \u2013 EMOTIONS.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because without being able to: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It will be harder to convey your needs and wants accurately, form authentic relationships, and ultimately make decisions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This added stress can also lead to health problems (unprocessed and unregulated emotions can increase physical tension) which can lead to more time at the doctor and chronic health issues which lead to less money in your bank account. Emotions also form the basis of our intuition or \u201cgut feeling\u201d which can alert us to issues not only in our body but also in our environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, if you want to grow Sustainable Wealth, you\u2019ve got to start with emotions.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is the foundational building block of emotional regulation and it starts in infancy. It\u2019s knowing what hunger feels like, knowing when you need to go to the bathroom, when you\u2019re starting to get sick, when you\u2019re tired. Knowing what those sensations *feel* like in your body is interoception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Basic survival skills such as hunger, thirst and sleep are innate but all other sensations have to be learned through the process of developing interoception. It\u2019s a skill that must be practiced and honed by becoming curious about our own physical sensations \u2013 sensations such as rises in heart rate, muscle tension, abdominal pain\/tightness\/\u201dpit in your stomach\u201d, heaviness in the eyes, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those sensations have intelligence \u2013 they are the body\u2019s way of guiding us through our environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n From Kim Armstrong\u2019s cover story in The Association of Psychological Science, How We Understand Our Body\u2019s Inner Sensations<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe core task of a brain working in service to the body is allostasis: regulating the body\u2019s internal systems by anticipating needs and preparing to satisfy them before they arise. Interoception \u2014 your brain\u2019s representation of sensations from your own body \u2014 is the sensory consequence of this activity, Barrett says, and is central to everything from thought, to emotion, to decision making, and our sense of self.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Developing this skill takes practice which is why mindfulness is so frequently recommended by many professionals. It’s a great way of quieting one\u2019s mind and tuning into the physical body. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This could include body scan styles of meditation where you scan your whole body and see what sensations arise, breath work, or just regularly asking yourself the question \u201cwhat am I feeling right now and where am I feeling it\u201d<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Side note for people with history of Traumatic Experiences:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n For some people who have a history of trauma, asking the question: “what am I feeling right now and where am I feeling it”<\/em> may feel incredibly overwhelming. The body itself may not feel safe or comfortable and sitting with it may feel like sitting with a complete stranger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A step that I personally have found helpful is to just find one tiny spot somewhere in my body that feels okay and start sitting with that one spot. Another is to focus solely on your breath as a place of \u201chome\u201d and center if sitting with your body begins to feel uncomfortable or unsettling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are multiple therapy modalities which can help with finding comfort with your body if this is the case. (EMDR, Trauma Releasing Technique, Energy Work, Internal Family Systems, Emotional Freedom Technique, Somatic Experiencing). A well-trained Trauma Informed Therapy<\/a> Professional can also be an amazing partner in helping resolve painful past experiences and bring healing to both body and mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So after there is comfort with tuning in and gaining awareness on physical sensations in the body and developing that sense of interoception, the next step is to begin labeling those sensations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the most transformative books I\u2019ve ever read in my life was Marshall Rosenberg\u2019s Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships<\/em>. It still stands as the best book I\u2019ve ever read and I\u2019ve read a lot of books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why was is this book so powerful?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because it shifted my entire perspective about how to be in relationship with myself and other people. It helped me understand that the only person I had control over was myself and to take radical responsibility for that understanding. I needed to get very clear on what I needed and communicate those needs from a place of personal responsibility in order to have authentic and self-respectful relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What does that all mean and look like?<\/p>\n\n\n\n In his book on page 6, Marshall lays out the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process, the dialogue examples are my own:<\/p>\n\n\n\n This approach really helps me gain clarity into what I am feeling and matching them with a need \u2013 the feelings and needs can then be communicated to others as an invitation for them to be met with care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Center for Nonviolent Communication<\/a> has some great resources and information to further guide emotional literacy and implement this approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another tool I have really enjoyed are GROK cards<\/a>. These are individual cards with one emotion and one need listed on them. You can then peruse the cards and see which feelings and\/or needs resonate the most. When I\u2019m really not sure what I\u2019m feeling or needing, these cards have been very helpful in bringing me a sense of clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So we have this physical sensation that\u2019s come up. We\u2019ve located it in the body. And we\u2019ve used our emotional literacy to label it and identify any corresponding need that goes along with it. Now what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Often times emotions can feel really big \u2013 anger especially. Emotions really are just energy in emotion or e-motion so if you think of them from that perspective, emotions are just energy that needs to find a pathway out of the body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What helps regulating emotions is highly personal but one thing that I have found consistently helpful across many people is heavy work \u2013 pushing through the body. This can be something such as tensions large muscles groups (legs), change position, grip hands or even toes in shoes tightly, using hands\/arms to push on thighs if in a seated position and exhaling all of the air out of your lungs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Drinking water, especially through a straw I\u2019ve found helpful too. Playing with liquid temperatures \u2013 hot or cold can also sometimes be calming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The idea is to move and make space for the emotions to be in your body without any sense of control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fear is often a tricky emotion that can make this process of experiencing emotions a real challenge. When emotions are really big, there might be fear that they will become so overwhelming that you\u2019ll lose control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I absolutely LOVE the Hendricks Institute\u2019s Fear Melters\u00ae<\/a> exercises for this. By helping me process any associated fear, I\u2019m able to much more easily ride the \u201cemotional waves\u201d and help \u201cbigger\u201d emotions work through my body versus getting stuck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Emotional Freedom Technique<\/a> or \u201ctapping\u201d is another way that many have found helpful. Here\u2019s a study on its impact on Physiological Health<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After there\u2019s some emotional peace and calm, the final step in the process is to ask \u201cWhat are my emotions telling me?\u201d \u201cDo I need to take any action?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n In Karla McLaren\u2019s book, The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings are Trying to Tell You<\/em> she goes over fourteen different emotions and several other emotional states with the purpose of guiding you toward a greater understanding of the meaning behind various emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotions often have different meaning to each of us and have different meanings based on the context of the situation, however, there are some similarities. Anger for instance often arises when a boundary has been crossed. It may not even be a conscious boundary but something internally is alerting that there is unease or discomfort in the situation or environment. This alert can be used to gain greater internal clarity even when no outward action is necessary (or it will alert you that you need to take actual action).<\/p>\n\n\n\n While her book is helpful and worth a read, just asking yourself the questions included in this post often yield greater clarity and provide a sense of direction and next steps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once emotions have been identified, experienced, processed and used to gain a greater clarity, the final step is to move forward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This may include expressing your needs to someone else, negotiating your needs with another, engaging in a conflict to reestablish a boundary, making an important decision, or just providing you with more information about the inner workings of your own body and mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The idea in this final piece of the process is that there is alignment between what your body is feeling and what your mind is thinking. <\/strong>When there is this kind of alignment, I have found that people make decisions (they do) from a true place of authentic self \u2013 they are making decisions that are in alignment with what they (both body and mind) need. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When we make decisions from a place of real, true, authenticity, we are not worried that we are taking on more than what our body can handle and we are not allowing our thoughts to limit what our body can actually do. From this place of alignment, we commit all of ourselves to that decision which is one of the key ways in which Sustainable Wealth is grown.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\nStep 1 – Interoception<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Step 2 \u2013 Emotional Literacy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Step 3 \u2013 Regulate Them<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Step 4 \u2013 Gain Intelligence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Step 5 \u2013 Move Forward<\/h2>\n\n\n\n