Have you ever had a day when nothing goes right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just had a weekend like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nThe Universe was relentless in its message: \u201cYou have no control\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve been gripping for control lately. I\u2019ve been feeling like I cannot find solid ground. Everything is chaotic and rapidly changing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some days I feel like I cannot even catch my breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Normally experiencing that much loss in such a short period of time would send me into a tailspin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Victim mindset<\/a> would abound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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- Why me?!<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- I don\u2019t deserve this?!<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Why is all my favorite stuff being attacked?!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Normally, I’d go on a splurge and use money to make myself feel better. I’d practice the “let’s just throw money at my problems and make them all go away.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unfortunately, while doing that makes me feel better for the short-term, I end up feeling a great sense of shame over the long-run. Also, money can replace some of the things that I lost, the feelings of loss still remain. And it’s the feelings that trigger the victim mindset for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In this moment, I questioned my thinking – I asked myself “Are those stories true?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The answer at first was yes, then I asked again and got a maybe, and I kept asking until I found a NO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If the “why is all of my favorite stuff being attacked?!” isn’t true, then what is?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I really love this graphic from Mindful.org <\/a>which I’ve now put on my wall to remind me to challenge my thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That question opened the door for me to see that I actually have two options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
More importantly, I realized that clinging to my victim mindset limits me. It prevents me from seeing other options because I’m so committed to everything happening TO me that I can’t see any other ways to exist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if everything happens TO you, how will you ever find peace? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your 2 Options – Keep Your Story or Write a New One<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s the lesson I\u2019ve learned lately:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nLife is nothing more than a big giant story and YOU get to write it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t like the story where The Universe is the villain and I\u2019m the victim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want to write a different one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One where The Universe is benevolent and is clearing things out of my life and making room for something different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Both are equally true right? The Universe can be both. It\u2019s just a matter of perspective.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
I lost a great deal of my favorite things this weekend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I got really sad. I felt the sadness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I let myself feel upset. I let myself grieve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then I let go.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
I felt the wisdom of my emotions using these tips<\/a> and I accepted that I cannot control what happens, but I can control the story<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I can experience how I feel about that story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what started with tears and a closed, angry fist cursing The Universe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ended with a chuckle and an open palm, ready to receive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that openness is where I released my anger, frustration and shame and found peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you have a day that doesn\u2019t go \u201cright\u201d, how have you handled it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me know in the comments!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
More Support for When Nothing Goes Right<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
For more support with Victim Mindset be sure to take a look at The Conscious Leadership Group’s content<\/a>. They have excellent resources for how to identify and shift out of victim mindset and open yourself to the many other options that life has available to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n